Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook as told to Scott Adams

The Ten-Minute Manager, Zap!, Flying Fish... It seems like books on how to be a better, more effective manager are everywhere. But if you're tired of empowering your employees and could care less about nurturing them, this is the book for you. How to rule by fear, how to depress your employees about their own career aspirations so that the end up working for you forever, and how to crush any hopes they ever might have had.

Sure, the company might want to look as though they are like other companies, so your own company might be forced to give employees gifts for doing well and meeting the standards you set out for them. But did you know such gifts can also be used to suck all the joy right out of your employees, or use the gift to let them know how useless they really are?

There's also the secret of meetings and how to communicate without transferring any actual information. how to make meetings that suck time away from your employees but make you look like an out of this world facilitator and team leader, and all of these points are illustrated with strips from the "Dilbert" comic.

Commit Qualicide! Reorg 'til it hurts, and then do it again for old times' sake! What can it hurt? Remember: If your employees aren't miserable, you aren't doing your job properly!