Pet Peeve by Piers Anthony

Goody Goblin is a most un-goblinlike goblin. He's clean, he's neat, he's polite, and he's gentlemanly. Which makes him very much like a female goblin, but the female goblins prefer more goblinesque goblins, making Goody a very lonely goblin. He did find a female Goblin to love, but she was cursed to have a very short life, so while they fell in love and had children together, both children had very normal goblin outlooks on life. Thus, Goody is alone once again.

But now a stranger has given him the finger, making him angry. But when he realizes that there is no way to be rid of it, except by giving it to another, he decides to go to see the Great Magician, and pay for his answer by giving a year of service. This isn't the first time he's gone this route... the last time he went was to find out how to attract a goblin female when he wasn't very goblin-like, but the advice didn't help very much.

On the way to the castle, Goody must overcome three challenges, and finds them fairly easy. He is met by one of the Magician's wives and they hear his tale of woe. Rose of Roogna offers one of her roses, and he picks a gray one, the rose of grief, since he is still grieving for Go-Go Goblin, his deceased wife. She tells him that when he meets a woman who can take the rose without harm, he will have found another woman to love. He isn't sure he wants this, but decides he must.

Then he is escorted to the Good Magician Humphrey, who tells Goody to give the finger to Humphrey's Daughter-in-Law, Wira, who is blind and therefore cannot be affected by it. He does, but instead of serving for a year, the Good Magician tells him he must find a most disagreeable animal a home: the Pet Peeve, a bird who makes enemies wherever he goes by saying the nastiest things he can think of in the voices of those around him, causing quarrels and trouble wherever he goes. Humphey is asking Goody because of his temperament: No one else on Xanth can be around the bird for very long without wanting to kill it. But because Goody is so inoffensive, he must have a bodyguard. Enter Hannah Barbarian, who will protect him and the bird from any external threat. But they must find the Peeve a good home where he will be happy, a tall order.

Goody and Hannah set off to find the Peeve a home, but have no luck getting rid of him in the Region of Madness, which is where they assume anyone who would want such a bird would live. Along the way, they encounter two dragons who trade them information for a robot builder from one of Princess Iris's moons, the Moon of Robots. They agree, and travel there, where they trade information about their past lives to the robots in exchange for the plans for a robot builder.

When they return home, they help the dragons put together the items they will need to make the robot builder. It's tiny, but it works, and they each leave, happy and satisfied. But the machine is still working as they leave, and when they reach Castle Zombie, they realize that the robots are constructing more robots and are overrunning the land in the search of building materials to make more of themselves.

To stop the holocaust they have unwittingly created, they must inform King Trent and become diplomats to the other races to bring them together to stop the robots before they overrun the whole of Xanth and push out all the other plants, creatures, humans and animals. In doing so, Goody meets his perfect match, Gwenny Gobliness, raised by Elves and Centaurs to want respect and kindness from her mate. And she can only be married to a chief or son of a Chief, as she herself is a Chieftess of her clan. Can Gwenny and Goody overcome the barriers keeping them apart even as they struggle against the army of robots overrunning the land of Xanth?

I liked this book, which, while focussing a great deal on love and sex (as many of Piers Anthony's books do), doesn't have that whole distasteful "underage sex and romance" story underpinning it, like "Two to the Fifth" did. Goody Goblin is a good guy who might be looking for love, but not too hard, because he's still in mourning for his old wife.

The love story, such as it is, starts late, as if it was more of an afterthought than anything else. Even Hannah Barbarian gets a love story, such as it is, with a robot reprogrammed to have a conscience. But the best thing about this particular love story is that it's sweet without being randy, although it certainly does get into that later on. It's basically very much like the early Xanth books, in all the best ways.

This being a Xanth Book, of course, puns abound, and those not into puns, or those who run screaming from puns had best beware, as this book is full of them. Now, I tend to be a punslinger in real life, but some of these puns even made me wince. So, be warned, but those who enjoy puns, invertebrate punsters and incorrigable punsters, will find plenty to enjoy here. And being an invertebrate punster myself (spinelessly unable to resist making a pun, so slug me!), of course, I enjoyed it.