Is it a Choice? by Eric Marcus

This book is subtitled "Answers to the Most Frequently asked Questions about Gay and Lesbian People". This is not Eric Marcus' first book, as some of this others include "Making Gay History", "Together Forever" and a biography of Greg Lougainis called "Breaking the Surface". This book came about because of questions asked by straight people about gay people.

Marcus is quick to remind people that homosexuals are just as different from each other as straight people are different from each other, and the answers he gives are reflective only of himself and those he has talked to. Other gay men and women might feel differently about the subjects he covers in this book, and that the answers they give will be true for them.

The book starts off with the basics, and defines terms he will use elsewhere in the book, such as what "Gay" means, including the way it was historically used, and then moving on to other things typically asked about gay people, such as "Is there a greater chance of Gay people molesting children?" or "Is it a mental illness?" and "Is there a cure?"

The next chapter covers growing up Gay, and how this affects children and teens. Being that kids can be cruel, there's a strong chance that kids will throw around statements like "that's so gay" or epithets like "Faggot" without knowing what they mean or how hurtful they can be. And many worry that their parents will not support them if they are gay. The chapter after is on Coming out to friends and family, such as when a person accepts what they are and then has to tell the people he knows. Some choose to live as a gay person publically, some only to close friends and family. Older gay men and women may not be able to live their choice openly due to fear for their jobs. But such decisions come with a cost.

Other sections deal with family and children, questions by parents of gay children, dating, relationships, and marriage, work and the military, where gays and lebians live, socializing and friends, religion, discrimination and antigay violence, movies, television and print media, sports, education, aging, and ends with a chapter of miscellaneous questions that don't fit into one of the other chapter headings.

I have friends who are gay and lesbian (including one who had a sex change operation (now called gender reassignment surgery but didn't change sexual orientation, making her now a lesbian. And I mean, really, what do you call someone like that, who used to be heterosexual and is now gay because she felt she should always have been a woman? The word "gay" or "lesbian" doesn't really get at the nuances of her life.) who are good, dear friends to me, and yet this book really helped me understand them in ways I didn't before.

And here's the real message of this book. That homosexuals, no matter what they call themselves or what labels others see fit to slap on them, are just people, and are really no different than most people on the street. They are simply attracted to the same sex in the way heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. But of course, because of the very differentness of that choice, their lives remain endlessly fascinating in the way the lives of celebrities are fascinating. It's like a Peeping Tom experience, seeing how the other half lives. And that's my personal opinion, not that of Eric Marcus.

In any case, this book does a wonderful job of answering questions people have about the life of homosexuals and corrects a lot of misinformation that ignorant or prejudiced people spread. As such, it should be required reading for anyone who wants to know how homosexual people live, or what makes them homosexual.