Thursday, July 17, 2008

He Had It Coming by Stacey Schneider, Esq.

"He Had It Coming" is a book for women on how to survive Divorce and get what should really be coming to them in the settlement. As a divorcee and divorce court attorney herself, author Schneider offers women advice and knowledge that she gained over a long career as an attorney, advice that helped her win in her own divorce from her husband.

The book tells women to start before they tell their husband that they want a divorce, to plan and be ready for what is to come. The first is to educate themselves about how their home is run financially. Because most women let their husband pay the big bills, they quickly lose touch with how much their lifestyle really costs. So the first step is to pay attention and learn. The second is to thoroughly investigate their husband's finances. If he is cheating on you, or suspect he is, you will want to look at his credit card bills and see if he is giving his mistress expensive gifts or spending a lot of money on hotel bills or restaurants. Furthermore it may show you income he is getting that he is not telling you about, such as bonuses at work, or other sources of income. You shoukd make copies of such information, as when it comes to finances, you will need to show this at the divorce proceeding. Women need to know this before they tell their husbands they want a divorce so that the husband cannot hide assets on them.

Once a woman has told her husband she wants a divorce, Schneider leads them through the process of divorce, what they will need to know, and various motions they should file to find out the true state of their husband's finances. She also gives advice for having a relatively amicable divorce, such as to let the husband know that a process server will be arriving, and what he should do when the server comes. Not letting the husband know is a sure method to having a nasty, acrimonious divorce, as many people find being served embarrassing and disconcerting, and resent being put in that position. She also tells women to make a list of everything in the house worth over $1000 and to try to split it with their ex-husbands to be without involving lawyers that can drive up their lawyer bills tremendously.

She also gives ideas on how to negotiate for what you really want, and how to discuss things with your husband that allow him to think he's getting what he wants without really promising anything. After all, everything is negotiable until the papers are signed. She also gives tips on how to act, and how not to act around your soon-to-be ex, how the divorce proceeding will work, and what to do before you sign the papers, such as take your name off joint accounts, and properties that you will not end up owning, as well as how to act after, and ways to protect yourself from problems with child custody and other issues further down the line.

This is an excellent book on how to prepare for a divorce and how to conduct one so that you get out of it with enough income and assets to support yourself comfortably after, as well as to maintain your sanity while you are going through it. With the examples of the author's principles and ideas in action sprinkled through the text, this is an invaluable resource for women looking to separate from their husbands. Though I don't see any need for this book in my own future, it was a fascinating read that is sure to help any woman get and keep what she deserves from a divorce.

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